Category: Existential Psychology

Stuck in the Mud: Freedom from Negativity

“Between stimulus and response there is space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and Freedom.”

– Viktor Frankl

The dichotomy of freedom and responsibility is emphasized by Frankl, especially in regard to the dynamics of a person’s fatalistic entrenchment in the psychical factors of an individual’s life. The pressing issues that concern a person’s psyche have an impact on how that person approaches life.

If a person is stuck in fear, anger, anxiety or depression, this influences that person’s perspective, creating an automatic bias within one’s underlying emotional make-up. A “stuckness” in self-blame, guilt and regret colors the perception of a person’s thoughts and interpretation of immediate as well as past events; this can cause one’s future outlook to look bleak.

An effort must be made to shift a person’s thinking and perspective, so that the emotional muddiness can be cleared up, in order to permit a transition into a clearer perspective. This needs to be more than a “cognitive exercise.” A person consists of mind-body-spirit, and these three fundamental aspects of a human being need to be addressed, so that an effective remedy to one’s mental, physical, and spiritual ailments can be cured.

Bringing a person’s awareness into the present moment, for the sake of developing new responses to the challenges of life, can be of initial benefit to break up the concretized maladaptive ways of viewing oneself. Freedom of choice in the moment, to take responsibility for how one responds to any given situation is key to an essential existence as a human being.

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Spiritual Dimension of the Psyche

Five thing essay: the spiritual dimension of the psyche

The pursuit of meaning in life requires the defining of existential goals for oneself. These may include whatever endeavors enrich one’s life, within the framework of meaningful tasks. Although the tasks themselves may not appear to be meaningful, they may lead to a greater good reward. So, consistency requires diligence and work.

The dominant mode of thought amongst those who seek self-improvement, especially in the area of mental health, as well as the overall zeitgeist is that the pursuit of homeostasis is essential to wholeness in one’s life. Yet, Frankl posits that the dynamic tension in life between oneself and one’s goals is key to a fulfilling life. Thus, he compares this concept to the need to strengthen an arch by placing one more stone into that structure, in order to fulfill its purpose. It is the tension of the stones against each other that braces the archway.

So, if we would like to walk through the doorway that leads toward a life of enrichment, then it is not about seeking whatever might relieve the tension in our lives. Rather, it is about focusing on the pursuit of meaningful goals, that will contribute to the overall richness of our life. This may entail a reorientation of one’s entire life, toward the finding out of what is most meaningful as a unique individual and seeking the fulfilment of that meaning.

The obstacles in the way of reaching a goal may be the enticement of our psyche by whatever would provide immediate gratification, relief from stress and pleasure, only providing a temporary diversion from our goals. Yet, the true way to freedom is through the transcendence of our struggles by continuing in meaningful tasks, experiences, and endeavors. Too much freedom in the sense of giving ourselves breaks from what is most important will detract from the gain that will result from responsibilities.

Therefore, it may help as a guideline, for anyone interested in pursuing a life of meaningful intent, to contrast the Freud’s “will to pleasure,” with Frankl’s “will to meaning.” It is necessary to differentiate between the pleasure-seeking principle that operates within a human being, from the noological or spiritual dimension within us that may only be gratified through meaningful endeavors and experiences. Both of these polarities exist within us; yet, it is recommended to not fall sway to the natural inclinations, rather to the aspects of ourselves that allow for the highest fulfillment of a human being, that of transcending the physical for a higher purpose.

When the Ordinary is Extraordinary

Standing upon Holy Ground: recognizing the importance of the ordinary

When Moses stood in front of the burning bush, G-d told him to take off his shoes, for he was standing upon “holy ground” (Exodus 3:5). How can this phenomenon be construed as relevant to our own lives? When we enter a place of worship, the local synagogue where we pray, for example, there is more of a feeling of being in the presence of G-d, because of the sanctity of the space. Yet, what about within the framework of our lives? Where does the sacred appear, when we are aware enough to notice it in front of our very eyes, in the experience of the moment?

The truth of the matter is that it’s taught that we need only recognize the sacredness of the very ground that we are standing upon (R’ Hirsch), metaphorically speaking, at any given point in time. In other words, we need to connect with the experience at hand, and understand how even the mundane moments of our lives have a purpose in G-d’s plan. The connection between ordinary moments and our purpose in life is key.

Whatever ground we stand upon in our lives, is where we will prosper most. If we set our sights on lofty intellectual endeavors beyond our reach at that particular point in time, instead of attempting to understand what is set before us in the here and now, then we will miss out on the concealed meaning of that moment. Our minds will be elsewhere, preoccupied with other thoughts.

Realizing the potential of ordinary moments depends on our perception. The meaning of the ordinary in our lives can be revealed, if we are perceptive enough to see behind the veil of the mundane. Even the ordinary is imbued with meaning in the moment.

The attention of Moses was drawn to the burning bush, that was not consumed by fire. He saw beyond the ordinary appearance of a bush in the wilderness and was receptive for an encounter with H’Shem. Connecting to the divine in our lives happens when we are open to the moment.

Until we are called to something higher in our lives, than our current calling, we should let the present situation rest, and give it our full attention. Moses, himself, was given his mission at that point, when he noticed the burning bush in the desert, while tending to his sheep. Until that point, he lived in Midian for forty years, as “a stranger in a strange land.”

He was, in a sense, isolate from his brethren, and his former self, when he had lived in Pharoah’s palace. In many ways, he was alone, even though he had a wife, children, and extended family relations. As a shepherd, he must have spent a lot of time in reflection. He had many opportunities to do so.

Unlike the metropolitan enclave that surrounded Pharaoh’s palace, he was mostly only surrounded by the vast wilderness of Midian. All of his previous social moorings had been removed from before him. As a Hebrew in exile, he was uncertain about his fate, until the day of his calling.

This served as the catalyst for his journey of return to Egypt as his newfound role, redeemer of the Israelites was given to him. Only after this period of refinement in virtual solitude, could he have been brought to this point. His existential isolation was about to end. He was properly chosen for this role.

We all have periods of our lives, we may feel somewhat disconnected, removed from the comfort zones that we are used to in life. Yet, there is also an innate sense of disconnection that remains throughout life, the sense of aloneness, standing removed and apart from others, despite the family and friends that surround us. The only reason that we, for the most part, do not recognize this “state of existence” is because are social moorings remain constant, and our sense of self is partly based upon our social sphere.

Without the usual state of affairs in our lives, that sense of existential isolation may surface, and, perhaps, even surprise or shock us, causing dismay and consternation. This is known as existential dread. Yet, once we get past this, all things appear for the better, when we become used to the “ground of being,” that we find is inherent within the makeup of our very selves.

Our lives are usually wrapped up in ourselves, and our extensions of self, whether the social sphere where we thrive, or in each of our personal algorithmic bubble that insulates our comfort zone online within the social media spheres that we virtually inhabit. Take away that connection, and we are left bereft; although, to be fully human and know ourselves it would be wise to deliberately disconnect from our electronic devices on a regular basis.

We are not automatically connected to others,” rather, our nature, depending on whether we are an introvert or an extrovert, will gravitate towards connection with others to some degree, more or less. Moreover, the value that we place upon the constructs of our world should enhance our unique identity, rather than hinder it.

We are all broken to some extent, because we are not perfect human beings, nor do we have ideal connections with others that will always go smoothly. We are the wounded healers that we strive to be for ourselves and others, if we acknowledge our flaws, and strive to improve ourselves.

Yet, if we distract ourselves with endless vanities, we will not give ourselves a chance to let our inner voice surface in the midst of the chaos. Predominantly, most of us, myself included, spend too much time in the echo chambers of the various viewpoints we think we authentically uphold; yet, for the most part, we are probably only parroting what we heard, and think we believe, without having properly reflected on the nuances of those views.

To be apart and alone, living one’s life, emotionally, responsible for one’s own feelings, thoughts, and speech, involves the acknowledgment that we are essentially existing as individuals that do not truly know ourselves to the extent that we should. If we take the time to step back for the foreground of our lives, becoming observers, more than participants, and human beings, more than human-doings, then we will begin to get more intouch with the inner dimension of ourselves. This is the spiritual dimension that encompasses our soul, as expressed, though thoughts, feelings and emotions, as well as out intuition.

In fact, it has been proven that it is actually introverts who have the most potential to become authentic leaders, more unique and innovative than extroverts, or those who simply: “go with the flow.” To go with the flow is to meld with the universal appeal of the zeitgeist – the current narrative norm. Otherwise, this also known as the “herd mentality.”

Moses went against every grain of identity that was imposed upon him as a prince of Egypt, living a life of luxury in Pharaoh’s palace. He chose to identify with his Hebrew roots, and his beleaguered brethren, his brothers and sisters under the enslavement of a cruel dictator. By doing so, he cast off the influence of the idolatrous ways of his Egyptian upbringing and embraced the one true G-d of Israel.

We would be wise to emulate Moses and learn from his ways. Let us not cast doubt upon a genuine path that we may walk, irrespective of the world’s glitter. We may obtain freedom from the constraints of modern culture and secularism, in order to share our light and inspiration with others; yet, that freedom must start with ourselves.

If we are so attached to the world, that we are pulled in every other direction, other than within, then we would be best advised to remove those distractions from our lives. To be free, means to be aware of the potential of our choices in life, and in accordance with our belief and values. It is better to downsize, than to increase in our own expansiveness and striving to perform.

Take a glance, at first, at the small things in life. The little things that go unnoticed. It’s only the big, the grand, and the largesse that capture our attention, if we are simply enraptured with the eternal nature of reality. Let’s take a look within ourselves, and also notice what usually goes unnoticed in life.

The beggar in the street, the weeds growing between the cracks in the sidewalks, and the patterns of clouds in the sky are all worthy of our attention. What is more, the wabi-sabi of life, is about finding beauty in imperfection, and joy in the simple things of life. I.e., a cup of tea with a friend, a walk through the park, or a nature hike.

Appreciating the beauty of the unassuming nature of humble people, and less colorful flowers is a way of recognizing all of G-d’s creation, not only the majestic. A sunset or sunrise at dawn, before most people are awake provides a solitary experience to be with ourselves, and G-d’s creation. 

Like Moshe, if we spend more time in the quietude of our surroundings, we will notice more, and feel fulfilled by what we have been missing all of our lives – mainly, a rich sense of self. The seemingly worn-out clothes, weathered houses, and dilapidated buildings, that we would refrain from giving much attention to, may metaphorically resemble the aspects of ourselves that have also been neglected; it is time to renew our souls, in light of a newfound freedom, that can only be gained from detaching to some extent, from our surroundings and the world.