self-improvement – Breathing Room

Soulful Connections: Transcending Negativity (a remedy for anger):

Anger does not tend toward righteousness. Rather, frustration, irritation, and resentment can potentially lead to a negative attitude toward others. Even in the moment, when trying to do our best, perhaps, if there is a “bitter root,” below are awareness, it may manifest in a tangible way, towards another, whom we would rather show compassion toward, if we were only able to do so.

Hopefully, this is not the norm, rather, the exception to our behavior; yet, speaking for myself, even once when the potential for me to do good, through kindness or consideration is thwarted by my own negativity, this, in and of itself is disappointing. What may be the solution, in order to transcend these underlying psychological rifts, that prevent the righteousness ascribed to those who do not let negative feelings get in the way of doing good?

You may relate to this or not; if you do, hearken to words that are not my own, “Tremble, and sin not” (Psalms 4:5, JPS 1917 Tanach). The Hebrew word, ragaz, translated here as “tremble, connotes the physiological signs of anger, that are experienced within oneself, for example, a vibration in the chest, denoting the precursor to anger expressed, if not placed in check. And, this is the key point to be made here. We may experience anger, first, noticing its onset; yet, we do not have to give in to its destructiveness. “Tremble, and sin not.”

Thus, we can manage anger by becoming more aware of its visceral manifestation in the body; and, remaining steadfast in the prevention of that feeling of anger taking sway in our words, or behavior. Even so, the underlying causes must be sought out, uncovered, and brought to the forefront of the mind’s attention, so that the soul may deal properly, working through those issues. This can be done by trying to gain personal insight into the issue(s).

Yet, over time, the more anger is stopped in its track, and we act in the opposite manner, through a kind or considerate word or act, it is as if we are pulling out the rug from underneath our negativity. So, remain true to the vision of transcendent righteousness, by enacting a countermeasure, as often as possible against one’s inclination to act in a negative way.

Service to G-d and observance of His commandments does not occur in a vacuum. Neither does the overall experience, of all that we define as constituting our “life.” Thus, service to G-d needs to happen in actuality; service goes beyond faith – it is faith in action.

Moreover, without clear social or vocational moorings, and a place in community, Torah observance can become abstract, in terms of only being limited to study, without an actual arena to put one’s values into practice. For, it is only in actuality that one’s values actually take root in one’s character. (I am speaking from my own limited experience).

To put this into other words, “no man is an island;” that is to say, that human beings are relational beings, and the Ten Commandments make it clear that our relationship and responsibilities are to both G-d and man. The first five commandments relate to G-d, and the second set of five commandments have to do with societal laws.

For myself, as an introvert bordering on a recluse, especially since the onset of the pandemic, I do not often have the opportunity to be put to the test in regard to the values that I express in my writing. Furthermore, recently on a seven-week extended journey to the East Coast, it seems that I fell short of the mark on various occasions, whereof I did not exemplify the values that I would otherwise claim as my own.

This became a greatly humbling experience, in recognizing that there was a disconnect between what I studied and wrote about (based mostly on the Biblical principles of my faith), and the actual attempt to demonstrate those values in real life. So, now, I’m back to the drawing board, well, the keyboard and computer screen, admitting my human frailties.

For the religious, the faithful, and the pious, our character is only tested in the real world, outside the pages of Torah, the narratives of the Patriarchs, and the message of the prophets. Yet, we hope to carry their words with us, and one day to have these teachings engraved upon our hearts. Until then, we should pray for that realization, wherein we will be able to take the G-d inspired words of kitvei kodesh (holy scripture) to heart.