values – Breathing Room

Stuck in the Mud: Freedom from Negativity

“Between stimulus and response there is space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and Freedom.”

– Viktor Frankl

The dichotomy of freedom and responsibility is emphasized by Frankl, especially in regard to the dynamics of a person’s fatalistic entrenchment in the psychical factors of an individual’s life. The pressing issues that concern a person’s psyche have an impact on how that person approaches life.

If a person is stuck in fear, anger, anxiety or depression, this influences that person’s perspective, creating an automatic bias within one’s underlying emotional make-up. A “stuckness” in self-blame, guilt and regret colors the perception of a person’s thoughts and interpretation of immediate as well as past events; this can cause one’s future outlook to look bleak.

An effort must be made to shift a person’s thinking and perspective, so that the emotional muddiness can be cleared up, in order to permit a transition into a clearer perspective. This needs to be more than a “cognitive exercise.” A person consists of mind-body-spirit, and these three fundamental aspects of a human being need to be addressed, so that an effective remedy to one’s mental, physical, and spiritual ailments can be cured.

Bringing a person’s awareness into the present moment, for the sake of developing new responses to the challenges of life, can be of initial benefit to break up the concretized maladaptive ways of viewing oneself. Freedom of choice in the moment, to take responsibility for how one responds to any given situation is key to an essential existence as a human being.

Separation of the Waters

Day 2 (Genesis 1:6-8): The Waters of Strife & Division

On the second day, G-d spoke the firmament into existence. He separated between the waters beneath and above the firmament. This separation brought into actuality, the atmosphere of the earth, and the point where space begins. Although, Ramban contends that the separation was between the spiritual domain and the material existence of the Universe. This rendering would denote the difference between Heaven, in the sense of a spiritual realm, and earth, akin to malchus – where G-d’s Presence can be found by way of His quality of immanence.

Unfortunately, many today in the world, have no concept of the heavenly as a spiritual dimension, except to a vague degree, nor, are some able to see beyond the material, acknowledging the spiritual. This unfortunate state of affairs has given rise to greater materialism, as well as doctrines that promote the advance of materialism. Hence, we here an emphasis on equity, to the exclusion of divinity, human rights, instead of human responsibilities to both G-d and man. Ask not what is due to you; rather, ask what you can contribute to the betterment of the world, in tandem with G-d’s design and divine plan.

Furthermore, in regard to the separation of the waters, Rashi comments that this division symbolized strife; and, for this reason, the second day was not referred to as “good.” Therefore, a parallel can be drawn to the disvalue of strife, as opposed to the inherent value of unity. As applied to a modern day context, it can be understood that a separation between spiritual and material is problematic, in that both were meant to complement each other. The phrase, “heaven and earth” epitomizes this complemental relationship between the spiritual and material realms. To deny the spiritual realm in favor of the material leads to imbalance, and visa versa as well. The incorporation of the two leads to the fundamental aspects of our nature being acknowledged, so that harmony can prevail within and without.

Without this recognition of the two components of our being human, we will be left bereft of the purpose for which we were created. Our individual purpose in life must be guided by the soul, not dictated by the material demands and inclination of the body. The earth serves to remind us of the essence of the Creator; yet, if taken advantage of solely for the sake of the use of natural resources, we lose the sense of awe and wonder that is available to us while gazing on a sunset, or viewing majestic snow-capped mountains.

Separation of Light & Darkness

From the beginning of the creation of the world, G-d used His discernment, to separate the light from the darkness. This separation is a phenomenon that we may observe every day at dusk and dawn. The transition at twilight into nighttime, and at sunrise into daytime.

The Targum Neofiti emphasizes that G-d separated by word between light and darkness. We take the separation of light and darkness as a natural occurrence that seems effortless on the part of what most human beings refer to as nature.

Since there was no Biblical Hebrew word for nature, modern Hebrew uses the word Teva. The point that I would like to make is that the initial separation was not effortless, nor a natural phenomenon; rather, it was a principle of separation built into the fabric of Creation.

According to Rashi, because the light was good, it was not appropriate “that light and darkness should function together in a confused manner” (commentary on Genesis 1:4, sefaria.org). A parallel can be drawn to moral sphere, wherein the same rule may apply.

This tenet would caution us against the mixture of light and dark in our thinking, and how we approach the challenges in life; it may help decrease the confusion prevalent in society today. The current chaos of the world derives from the admixture of good and evil that permeates society. It is fueled by the flames of bitterness, animosity, and hostility.

Yet, the line of good and evil runs through the heart of every human (Solzhenitysn). This must be acknowledged by all decent people with a conscience in order to maintain a balanced perspective. The designation of people groups leads to an us and them mentality, as if the moral integrity of the in-group compels them to be sinless in their own eyes.

On the contrary, we must examine ourselves, all the moreso, in order to better challenge evil. In a world where the difference between good and evil is blurred we need the discernment that is able to separate light from darkness. “The words You inscribed give light” (Ps. 119:130, JPSN).

Furthermore, to attempt to justify evil by placing it within a context that is itself deceptive is a disavowal of the existence of objective good and evil. We approach the dystopic inverse mentioned by the prophet, wherein “good is called evil and evil is called good, darkness is changed into light and light is changed into darkness” (Isaiah 5:20).

Yet, the original light of Creation, created before the sun, stars, and moon were created was set aside for the righteous in the Messianic Era. This is G-d’s promise of utopia on earth, when Moshiach will reign from Jerusalem. No utopia that man attempts to create can deter the divine plan.

Shifting Values

The psychical structure known as the superego, within a Freudian context, represented the inculcation of values from society, that served to moderate the inappropriate impulses that originated in the Id. The ego is the mediating factor, between an individual’s impulses and the constraints learned from societal norms.

Freud lived in Austria during the first half of the 19th century when the norms of society were based upon a stringent level of morality and etiquette. So, the concept of the superego was dependent upon a set of moral norms that would serve to rebuff the unruly impulses an raw emotions of the Id. In other words, the strength of the superego was context-dependent upon the moral vigor of society.

However, the established norms of one society, and time period give way to the diminished values of another society and time period. Therefore, the influence of norms of the superego are dependent upon the shifting sands of the moral values of society.

If there is no stable set of norms in society, then the superego has nothing constancy to counteract the feelings, desires, and impulses of the Id. The more society devolves, the more the Id has influence over a person, if the cultural norms are accepted.

So, it is clear that the superego must be nourished by means other than going along with the zeitgeist, if indeed the current milieu of culture has gone astray. These are challenging times, whereof the lines are being drawn between those who seek righteousness, and those who abandon caution to the wind. Yet, true freedom is when we don’t let our Id rule our ego.

Therefore, we need something more substantial to nourish the superego of the psyche. In consideration of the superego’s strength, it can also be dependent on the values of one’s parents and community. Realistically speaking, it is our own personal obligation to boost the strength of the superego.

If as individuals, an appropriate value system can be developed, based upon moral philosophy, ethics, or religious principles, this will be the decisive factor in the battle for maintaining one’s moral character in the face of the onslaught of pseudo-values being proffered in the wake of the zeitgeist.

We are not meant to be subservient to the Id, representative of base desires and impulses that must be transformed into appropriate channels of expression. Rather, G-d has given mankind a conscience, that permits us to decide upon what is to be rejected, and what is to accepted, in regard to our inner being (Isaiah 7:15). Thus, the conscience is linked to the concept of the superego.

Our free will combines with the conscience, and the superego, creating a powerhouse, with the ability to choose right from wrong. This is the domain of the ego (as a psychical structure), to mediate between the inner conflicts within the psyche, and make decisions in accordance with reality.

We are not to be reduced to deterministic beings; rather, we have been given a soul, with the inunction to choose between good and evil. As is written, “see I have set before thee this day, life and good, and death and evil” (Deuteronomy 30:15).

The problem is that within the framework of the current cultural shift, that began decades, if not centuries ago, the demarcation between good and evil is being blurred. “Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter” (Isaiah 5:20).

When the Ordinary is Extraordinary

Standing upon Holy Ground: recognizing the importance of the ordinary

When Moses stood in front of the burning bush, G-d told him to take off his shoes, for he was standing upon “holy ground” (Exodus 3:5). How can this phenomenon be construed as relevant to our own lives? When we enter a place of worship, the local synagogue where we pray, for example, there is more of a feeling of being in the presence of G-d, because of the sanctity of the space. Yet, what about within the framework of our lives? Where does the sacred appear, when we are aware enough to notice it in front of our very eyes, in the experience of the moment?

The truth of the matter is that it’s taught that we need only recognize the sacredness of the very ground that we are standing upon (R’ Hirsch), metaphorically speaking, at any given point in time. In other words, we need to connect with the experience at hand, and understand how even the mundane moments of our lives have a purpose in G-d’s plan. The connection between ordinary moments and our purpose in life is key.

Whatever ground we stand upon in our lives, is where we will prosper most. If we set our sights on lofty intellectual endeavors beyond our reach at that particular point in time, instead of attempting to understand what is set before us in the here and now, then we will miss out on the concealed meaning of that moment. Our minds will be elsewhere, preoccupied with other thoughts.

Realizing the potential of ordinary moments depends on our perception. The meaning of the ordinary in our lives can be revealed, if we are perceptive enough to see behind the veil of the mundane. Even the ordinary is imbued with meaning in the moment.

The attention of Moses was drawn to the burning bush, that was not consumed by fire. He saw beyond the ordinary appearance of a bush in the wilderness and was receptive for an encounter with H’Shem. Connecting to the divine in our lives happens when we are open to the moment.

Until we are called to something higher in our lives, than our current calling, we should let the present situation rest, and give it our full attention. Moses, himself, was given his mission at that point, when he noticed the burning bush in the desert, while tending to his sheep. Until that point, he lived in Midian for forty years, as “a stranger in a strange land.”

He was, in a sense, isolate from his brethren, and his former self, when he had lived in Pharoah’s palace. In many ways, he was alone, even though he had a wife, children, and extended family relations. As a shepherd, he must have spent a lot of time in reflection. He had many opportunities to do so.

Unlike the metropolitan enclave that surrounded Pharaoh’s palace, he was mostly only surrounded by the vast wilderness of Midian. All of his previous social moorings had been removed from before him. As a Hebrew in exile, he was uncertain about his fate, until the day of his calling.

This served as the catalyst for his journey of return to Egypt as his newfound role, redeemer of the Israelites was given to him. Only after this period of refinement in virtual solitude, could he have been brought to this point. His existential isolation was about to end. He was properly chosen for this role.

We all have periods of our lives, we may feel somewhat disconnected, removed from the comfort zones that we are used to in life. Yet, there is also an innate sense of disconnection that remains throughout life, the sense of aloneness, standing removed and apart from others, despite the family and friends that surround us. The only reason that we, for the most part, do not recognize this “state of existence” is because are social moorings remain constant, and our sense of self is partly based upon our social sphere.

Without the usual state of affairs in our lives, that sense of existential isolation may surface, and, perhaps, even surprise or shock us, causing dismay and consternation. This is known as existential dread. Yet, once we get past this, all things appear for the better, when we become used to the “ground of being,” that we find is inherent within the makeup of our very selves.

Our lives are usually wrapped up in ourselves, and our extensions of self, whether the social sphere where we thrive, or in each of our personal algorithmic bubble that insulates our comfort zone online within the social media spheres that we virtually inhabit. Take away that connection, and we are left bereft; although, to be fully human and know ourselves it would be wise to deliberately disconnect from our electronic devices on a regular basis.

We are not automatically connected to others,” rather, our nature, depending on whether we are an introvert or an extrovert, will gravitate towards connection with others to some degree, more or less. Moreover, the value that we place upon the constructs of our world should enhance our unique identity, rather than hinder it.

We are all broken to some extent, because we are not perfect human beings, nor do we have ideal connections with others that will always go smoothly. We are the wounded healers that we strive to be for ourselves and others, if we acknowledge our flaws, and strive to improve ourselves.

Yet, if we distract ourselves with endless vanities, we will not give ourselves a chance to let our inner voice surface in the midst of the chaos. Predominantly, most of us, myself included, spend too much time in the echo chambers of the various viewpoints we think we authentically uphold; yet, for the most part, we are probably only parroting what we heard, and think we believe, without having properly reflected on the nuances of those views.

To be apart and alone, living one’s life, emotionally, responsible for one’s own feelings, thoughts, and speech, involves the acknowledgment that we are essentially existing as individuals that do not truly know ourselves to the extent that we should. If we take the time to step back for the foreground of our lives, becoming observers, more than participants, and human beings, more than human-doings, then we will begin to get more intouch with the inner dimension of ourselves. This is the spiritual dimension that encompasses our soul, as expressed, though thoughts, feelings and emotions, as well as out intuition.

In fact, it has been proven that it is actually introverts who have the most potential to become authentic leaders, more unique and innovative than extroverts, or those who simply: “go with the flow.” To go with the flow is to meld with the universal appeal of the zeitgeist – the current narrative norm. Otherwise, this also known as the “herd mentality.”

Moses went against every grain of identity that was imposed upon him as a prince of Egypt, living a life of luxury in Pharaoh’s palace. He chose to identify with his Hebrew roots, and his beleaguered brethren, his brothers and sisters under the enslavement of a cruel dictator. By doing so, he cast off the influence of the idolatrous ways of his Egyptian upbringing and embraced the one true G-d of Israel.

We would be wise to emulate Moses and learn from his ways. Let us not cast doubt upon a genuine path that we may walk, irrespective of the world’s glitter. We may obtain freedom from the constraints of modern culture and secularism, in order to share our light and inspiration with others; yet, that freedom must start with ourselves.

If we are so attached to the world, that we are pulled in every other direction, other than within, then we would be best advised to remove those distractions from our lives. To be free, means to be aware of the potential of our choices in life, and in accordance with our belief and values. It is better to downsize, than to increase in our own expansiveness and striving to perform.

Take a glance, at first, at the small things in life. The little things that go unnoticed. It’s only the big, the grand, and the largesse that capture our attention, if we are simply enraptured with the eternal nature of reality. Let’s take a look within ourselves, and also notice what usually goes unnoticed in life.

The beggar in the street, the weeds growing between the cracks in the sidewalks, and the patterns of clouds in the sky are all worthy of our attention. What is more, the wabi-sabi of life, is about finding beauty in imperfection, and joy in the simple things of life. I.e., a cup of tea with a friend, a walk through the park, or a nature hike.

Appreciating the beauty of the unassuming nature of humble people, and less colorful flowers is a way of recognizing all of G-d’s creation, not only the majestic. A sunset or sunrise at dawn, before most people are awake provides a solitary experience to be with ourselves, and G-d’s creation.

Like Moshe, if we spend more time in the quietude of our surroundings, we will notice more, and feel fulfilled by what we have been missing all of our lives – mainly, a rich sense of self. The seemingly worn-out clothes, weathered houses, and dilapidated buildings, that we would refrain from giving much attention to, may metaphorically resemble the aspects of ourselves that have also been neglected; it is time to renew our souls, in light of a newfound freedom, that can only be gained from detaching to some extent, from our surroundings and the world.

Scriptural Origins of Free Will

Existential Psychology from a Religious Perspective:

Freedom and Responsibility

Mankind was given free will, as denoted by the two inclinations symbolized by the doubling of the Hebrew letter “yud,” in the word yetzer, when used to describe the creation of man (Genesis 2:7). Notably, the word, yetzer, when used to describe the creation of animals, only uses one “yud,” because animals only have one inclination, i.e., their “instinctual drive.” (Genesis 2:19). Yet, mankind has both a good inclination and an evil inclination.

Additionally, there are consequences for the choices we make in life: “I have set before thee life and death, the blessing and the curse; therefore choose life, that thou mayest live” (Deuteronomy 30:19, JPS). If we follow our good inclination, by focusing on H’Shem, and performing the mitzvot, we will receive blessings in our lives. Conversely, if we permit our evil inclination to get the better of us, the consequences are described as curses.

We need to establish our proper conduct in this world. We are commanded “to love the L-RD thy G-d, to walk in His ways, and to keep His commandments” (Deuteronomy 30:16, JPS). This includes making rational decisions for ourselves in accordance with G-d’s will. We also need to accept responsibility for the choices we make; if we err, there will be negative consequences.

Doing good starts with awareness of the struggle between the yetzer tov (good inclination) and the yetzer hara (evil inclination). H’Shem encourages to choose the good by way of His promptings. We may do so by attempting to reign over the emotions and desires of our heart, that could otherwise lead us astray. Our rational mind needs to be set above this struggle, in order to make the right decision in any given moment. Sifting through our subjective experience, we need to sort out right from wrong. We need G-d’s directive in order to do so.

So, how can we maintain our values, in the face of opposition from our inclination to remain free of responsibilities, throwing caution to the wind, and giving in to our desires of the heart?

We need to have a strong sense of self-esteem, rooted in our identity and religious belief. Otherwise, we may be inclined to look elsewhere for inspiration, and wind up disregarding the practical application of the commandments in our lives. We also need to nurture our belief and practice, and strengthen ourselves through routine and community, as well as a dependence on G-d in all things.

Additionally, we need to guard ourselves against low self-esteem, because it can give way to self-doubt. Ultimately, the nature of our worth does not rest upon our estimation of ourselves; rather, who we are in G-d’s eyes. If we seek to please Him, by following His will, then it is inconsequential when others view us disparagingly. Our sense of self should not be based upon other’s perceptions.

Each and every individual person is actually on their own unique path. Even like-minded people following the same path, have to walk that path alone, regardless of who is accompanying them. We each are accountable for our own lives, and responsible for the ways that we follow.

No one else can live our life for us. We must be content with who we are; and, if not, we should endeavor to excel in improving ourselves: “and to him that ordereth his way aright will I show the salvation of G-d” (Psalm 50:23, JPS). So, let us strive to overcome our lesser inclinations, for the sake of our greater good.

Life’s Illusions

Have you ever had the feeling that “it’s later than it seems?” This feeling could manifest within the framework of your daily routine, yet, point toward something of greater significance. We tend to ignore, overlook, or distract ourselves from one of the fundamental givens of our existence: that our lives on earth are limited to a certain number of years. From the perspective of existential psychology, this existential given that everyone faces, causes us anxiety that manifest in indirect ways in our lives. Therefore, it is better to be brought out into the open, at some point, so that we can acknowledge what will eventually be brought to our awareness, sooner or later.

Yet, instead of acknowledging this reality, we might unconsciously try to avoid any reflection upon the brevity of our lives, by constantly distracting ourselves. In other words, by default, we face this particular existential given, by avoiding the recognition of our life on this earth as finite. Rather than think that we only have so many days to live in a way, pleasing to G-d, many of us live by always occupying our time with something to distract us from our own personal anxiety, fear, and uncertainty about the future, and the inevitability of death.

And, so, like water flowing where it will, or dandelion puffs blowing here and there, our natural inclinations lead us astray, acting against contemplation of the givens of our existence, and bringing us further away from the responsibility of actualizing an overall purpose in our lives, above and beyond the daily grind, and the seeking of pleasure, entertainment, and relaxation for its own sake.

Moreover, rebellion has become normative. Our flight from reality is sanctioned by the ongoing progressive cultural milieu of our times. For, if we do not even acknowledge the finiteness of our lives, then we may see ourselves within the framework of a delusion – that our lives are limitless, we can pursue whatever gives us satisfaction without any repercussions upon our conscience, especially if we are our own masters of conscience, and arbiters of truth.

As such, we disavow any claims made upon our lives by an authority higher than ourselves. Part of the tragedy stems from our views of authority from childhood, as influenced by the surrounding culture. Unless there is a tight-knit cohesion of the family unit, it is subject to decay, by way of outside influences. Its authority, in terms of positive parental influence is decreased in the minds of youth, who show signs of disrespect, and the parents themselves, who want to raise their children having a sense of freedom and autonomy they themselves value in their own lives. Yet, freedom must be balanced with responsibility, and autonomy must be weighed against the sovereignty of others.

There is a difference between dominion and domination. Mankind has been given dominion over the world, in order to serve as responsible stewards of the archetypal Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve lived in a Paradise, wherein a threefold harmony existed between themselves and G-d, with each other, and their environment. A fourth harmony was the inner sanctity within each of them as individuals.

This harmony was abandoned in favor of disobedience, the lure of becoming independent actors in a world created with a purpose and directive by the ultimate Director, whose script they chose to no longer follow. Instead, we establish ourselves as the highest authority, and end up dominating, instead of guiding the lives of others. Yet, G-d is compassionate; ever since the Fall, the expulsion from Paradise, G-d has been calling us back to him. He also took a measure of propriety to ensure that mankind would not have the leeway to continue outside of the initial plan – he limited the lifespan of mankind to 120 years maximum.

And, yet, we fill up our years, whether they be 70, 80 or more with material concerns (in Hebrew, gashmiyos), irrespective of the destiny of our souls. We attempt to dominate time, by making sure that we are always active, or always accomplishing something, yet, while concomitantly relinquishing our responsibility to use our time wisely. Rather, we need to redeem the time, by way of more meaningful pursuits in our lives.

Consider, that a conundrum exists between the focus on our physical existence, to the neglect of the soul. Our physical lives, in particular, the body, will eventually be subject to decay, while the soul is eternal. If our soul is eternal, then shouldn’t we begin to nourish what will last forever? We wouldn’t invest in a company that has a declining stock value. Yet, we continue to invest our lives with interests that are ephemeral. Moreover, whether you receive this or not at this time in your life, know that we are held accountable for the way we conduct ourselves in this life. The quality of our eternity depends upon how we lived our life.

Nobody wants to face death; we would rather enjoy our lives. Moreover, if this is all there is, irrespective of any kind of an afterlife, then most people who think this way, perhaps, would tend to live outside any sense of telos – an ultimate, purposeful goal beyond the ordinariness of our lives. And, yet, if we have not already considered what might be our ultimate purpose or individual mission in life, then the question may beg an answer, if only below the level of our awareness.

We distract ourselves from what is the most value in life. We are consumed with busyness – busy activity – even outside of our normative roles, tasks, and challenges for survival and to provide for others. However, of virtue, destiny and telos we remain ignorant, unconcerned, and even resentful toward any claim of an order that exists outside of our own individual kingdom where we seek to reign by giving into whatever we feel, think, or desire for ourselves. Thus, we do not even realize, that, in actuality, we our slaves to our desires.

Our lives have been stolen from us by the influence of therapeutic culture, an ever-pervasive “philosophy of life” that emphasizes our subjective pursuits for safety, freedom from suffering, and the lowest common denominator in terms of responsibilities – only to adhere to the path that will bring the most satisfaction. In doing so, we risk acknowledgment of the value and integrity of others. We honor ourselves more than others, and even worse, give no thought to honoring the Creator. Thus, the inherent danger in regard to G-d’s creatures – our fellow human beings – is to disregard their autonomy. Moreover, when we objectify others, we deny their dignity.

A repair of the human soul, a reordering of our values, and a reconstituting of a greater harmony going out beyond ourselves is in need. While we might remain faithful to the responsibilities of our lives, we have abandoned the yoke of Heaven. Yet, the path to harmony within and without begins with a first step, made in tandem with an answer to a higher calling. We may still have a chance to place our faith in someone other than ourselves before it is too late.

Redemptive Journey

The Redemption of Circumstances:

The actuality of circumstances beyond our control begins with our birth. Although the birth of a new life being brought into the world is cause to celebrate, and truly a miracle, we learn later as individuals, that coping with the circumstances that we were born into is often challenging to some degree or another. Yet, to raise ourselves up from any negative results of our circumstances is the call of our soul to seek perfection throughout our lives.

Moreover, this is meritorious – to transcend negativity, and any less than ideal circumstances in our lives without complaining along the way, in recognition that this was how it was meant to be, ultimately, for our own benefit. Of course, this is all said in retrospect, looking back on my own life as an example, after I came to faith.

The nature of grumbling may lay in a root of bitterness in our lives, that will plague us, until we accept that we were placed in the types of situations in our lives from birth onward that would provide the nourishment for our soul to shine, after being refined by its trials and tribulations. This is what is called wrestling with our circumstances, akin to the essence of Jacob, who wrestled with G-d. If we have a belief in G-d, then we may attempt to work out our own reconciliation to our circumstances in life, by also “wrestling with G-d.”

There are at least three ways of responding to the negative in our lives. The first is to let the impact of circumstances that seem less than par for our development in life take their toll on us. The second is to meet the challenges that we are presented with in life, by viewing them as hurdles that will compel us to jump over them. The third is to do teshuvah (repentance) over our past, gradually beginning to understand how our trials and tribulations have gotten us to where we are in life, and attempting to make amends both to ourselves and others. Hence, the plethora of self-help books on the shelves of any bookstore, and the multitude of programs to change our lives for the better.

In reviewing the innate circumstances of our lives that we inherit at birth, and those presented to us along the way, the way, two general ways of understanding the initial influence upon our lives exists: nature and nurture. The nature versus nurture dilemma is currently recognized as a moot issue, because it is widely agreed upon that both nature and nurture influence who we are.

So, both the characteristics that we were born with, and the way that we were raised contribute to who we are today. Yet, the interplay of the two becomes even more complex along the road of life. In particular, our character can influence how we deal with the continual circumstances of our lives, that present themselves to us. To transcend the circumstances in our lives, character improvement may be sought in order to gain the upper hand on our maladaptive coping mechanisms.

Personally, from the point of view of my wayward soul, years ago, during my youth, I could not have imagined myself living the type of life that I am living now. Today, I repudiate what would be considered as inappropriate behavior in my past. Yet, on the other hand, perhaps, the best recourse is to accept the past as it was, and learn from my own mistakes.

However, wishing and dreaming that I might have grown up some other way is akin to rejecting the path that was chosen for me from the vantage point of Heaven. For, if I had been raised in a more strict and religious manner, what is to say that I would have remained on the path? Yet, having been raised in a household that emphasized Jewish traditions, without the explicit requirement of leading the moral life that the Torah prescribes, I eventually gravitated toward a more serious commitment to the walking the straight and narrow; although, only after virtually picking myself up by the bootstraps; yet, actually with G-d’s help.

Learning from my mistakes is only part of the normal proceedings of teshuvah (repentance), by reclaiming my past for the betterment of the future. It has taken some time for me to come terms with a the specific approach to my past that would be in alignment with my current goals and belief system. To glorify my past would be out of the question. Yet, to denigrate it would be akin to sweeping it clean of any redeeming value. So, I seek to reclaim my past, while rejecting the lack of values and moral bankruptcy that it represents.

Moreover, in dredging up various chapters of my past life, before I became ba’al teshuvah (literally, “master of return”), I run the risk of permitting its memory to lure me back into oblivion. Rather, I need to clearly note that I had been encapsulated with much of what is now forbidden to me, by my own new standards in life. And, if I ever have that wrong way feeling again – like I had on occasion, yet, did not heed – the next time, I pray that I will be granted strength to turn away, and steer myself toward Heaven. For by the light of stars, I will be guided onward unto eternity. G-d willing, I do not stumble along the way.

The Hebrew word, teshuvah literally means “to return,” as in a return to G-d. To provide a more detailed description of this concept, consider that teshuvah, rendered as “repentance,” implies much more. A complete return to G-d is more than confession and forgiveness for sin, so that a person can be reconciled to G-d. Teshuvah has to do with one’s general lifestyle, manner of conduct, and ay in the world. Although repenting of a transgression is considered teshuvah, if one does not return to that particular transgression, the word has a further connotation that has to do with the whole self. Thus, this involves a total reconciliation to G-d.

It is written in scripture, “raise up a child according to his way, and he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). I was raised, along with my brother and sister in a household that was ostensibly having to do with Conservative Judaism. Yet, the values of Torah that should be inculcated in Jewish youth, beginning at an early age were not definitively done so. I was not informed as to the ways of Torah. In stating this insight, I would like to acknowledge what values may have been implicit in the way I grew up, without having been explicitly stated. Yet, this is challenging to do upon immediate reflection. Moreover, having not been specifically inculcated in me, they were bound to be challenged along the way, beginning in my teenage years.

My wayward youth stands as a testimony that whatever values may have been unexpressed, yet, somehow communicated, did not make enough of an impression upon me, to deter me from following the normative ways of my peers in both elementary and high school. So, what guidelines did I have to steer myself in this world? How could I have navigated the typical currents associated with being teenager, through unchartered waters without a map?

A critical approach in how I was raised is not meant to place blame upon my parents. Especially in consideration of how they may have been raised, how can I fault them, as if they should have known better? Yet, Torah does speak of the conditioning that passed on from one generation to another in this way, “who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation.”

In other words, if teshuvah is not done in one generation, the sins of the fathers will be passed down to the next generation by way of example. This is the nurture part of the nature versus nurture controversy in regard to the personality, behavior and character of an individual, otherwise know in psychological terms as “conditioning.”

So, it is incumbent upon the individual to break the chain of sinful behavior, and if not, that person is considered as guilty as his parents for wrongful conduct, because he did not make an effort to identify inappropriate behavior, and conduct his life in a manner in accord with G-d’s word.

In particular, if one has clearly learned that such and such is not permitted, and given the correct way to follow, as prescribed by G-d’s commandments, than there is no leeway for excuse. The only question is in regard to how to combat one’s prior conditioning. For example, if someone has learned through observation, by way of his or her nurturing, i.e., how one was brought up in childhood, what would serve as a catalyst for that individual to change his ways for the good?

Yet, the expectation placed upon human beings to right their ways, by learning from their own mistakes, as well as the previous generation is clear. And, there is even a promise given to those who succeed. “To one who orders his way rightly I will show the salvation of G-d” (Psalm 50:23).

essay camp prompt

My Story: Who am I?

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” – Proverbs 22:6

My youth, upon reflection, must have been typical of any other, more or less, who was educated in a secular school system in America. In the 1980’s, the Beatles were still popular enough to become one’s entry point into Western music. As any other kid on the block, I had a collection of cassettes at the time, that included the Beatles, as well as a growing number of other musicians and bands, that was later replaced with a record collection, and, eventually, c.d.’s.

I also had my favorite books, especially in high school, when I read the Hobbit, and the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. Additionally, I had my most viewed television programs, that kept me preoccupied, even in high school (when I should have been learning more), inasmuch that I had my own television, as did my siblings. This latter modern phenomenon is something that always bothered me in later years, when I reflected upon the tragedy.

Dare I use such a significant word? Yes, because this pertains to the tragedy of an overemphasis on individuation and subjectivity, to the point of isolation and alienation, as a result of a lack of genuine communication amongst family members, a common set of clearly defined values, and the sense of liberal views pertaining to the raising of children. I think that the common myth went and still may go something like this: our children should be free to learn, choose, and decide for themselves what to believe in, engage their time with, and find out what makes them happy in life.

On the surface, this combination of tolerance, permissiveness, and lack of engagement with child-rearing sounds great to the modern mind; yet, in retrospect, at least for myself, I can earnestly say that it was and is a formula for disaster in various ways, inclusive of too much freedom, not enough direction, and no clear guide to developing an inner moral compass.

To begin with, from the point of view of existential psychology, one of the four existential givens is significantly at play here: the continuum between freedom and responsibility. Without a sense of direction, freedom can be overwhelming, and provide too large of an area to explore, without the acknowledgment of boundaries and limitations.

Yet, society promotes this exploration, even moreso today, within the framework of progressive ideology; moreover, it seems to be a liberal standard to let one’s children find their own way in life, with all of its ups and downs, wrong roads and detours, in hopes that eventually they will be able to find the path that they as individuals are meant to be on, for the sake of their own personal happiness in life.

However, over forty years later, whereas now I feel that I am finally on the right path, I realize that according to the standards that I have accepted for myself in life, namely those proffered by the Bible, nowhere in scripture is it written, “And you shall be happy.” Meaning to say, happiness is not the most important factor of life. Moreover, the commandments given by G-d at Mount Sinai are meant to provide a moral compass in order to steer one’s life in the right direction.

Furthermore, these commandments were given to us for our own good, by a loving Father who would like to spare us from making the wrong choices in life. Even so, please, keep in mind, that He did give all of humankind free will. As is conveyed so aptly, “See, I give you life, and I give you death… choose life” (Deuteronomy 30:19). It is as if He gives us all of the right answers on the test of life, as well as the wrong answers, and encourages to answer correctly.

Spiritual Malaise

The Greater Crisis of Spiritual Malaise

The insistence of the people to build a golden calf led to idolatry, inclusive of the revelry that accompanied that idolatrous form of worship; yet, the greater crisis was the spiritual malaise that brought on the unrest in the first place; it is this underlying cause that may serve as an entry point for our understanding. Moreover, we should be able to relate more to the spiritual malaise, than the actual act of idolatry. For, rarely does the general population of Westerners worship actual idols, except within the New Age Movement, as well as certain Eastern religious traditions tailored towards the Western Mind.

Yet, G-d would like us to discern what is within our hearts. Whether or not we keep the L-RD in mind throughout the day is of great significance to our walk with the Him. Yet, if we grow restless and impatient like the Children of Israel, in their expectation of Moses to return from his forty-day retreat on Sinai, then we may seek other means of assuring ourselves that we have some kind of connection to the divine. This is the beginning of spiritual malaise, a turning away from our belief in G-d.

As a result of this recognition, we should examine our own conscience in order to determine whatever obstacles we may have placed between us and G-d. These obstacles, whether abstract ideas, or something more concrete like money, sports, or a favorite sitcom may inadvertently serve us as modern day idols, capable of preventing us from fully focusing on G-d.

At Sinai, when Moses did not immediately return from atop the mountain on the fortieth day, as the people had calculated, they began to panic as a result of their growing impatience and insecurity. Without Moses, they grew distressed, because he was not only their leader, he was also their intermediary between themselves and G-d. So, they sought to replace him with a new intermediary, a golden calf that served as a tangible representation of G-d. As much as Moses represented G-d, and spoke on His behalf, the people now demanded a “god” as a concrete form to better fixate their minds upon, even though they had already been given the commandment, not to make any images.

In our own lives, we need to lift ourselves up above the fascination of this world, inclusive of all its glamour, and the sparkle in front of our eyes that we gravitate towards, instead of seeking G-d within our hearts. We would do well to spend more quiet time, disengaged from the screen, as well as other electronic devices, in order to disconnect from externals, and reconnect with our main Power Source. The Creator of all that we might hold in esteem, should be given more reverence than manmade technological wonders.

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